he’ll say “are you married?” we’ll say “wow those are pretty invasive questions for a snowman”
I feel this is the perfect segue for me to tell this story. For the first 22 years of my life (I am 24 at this time), I didn’t know what a parson was. I thought “Parson Brown” was just a man’s name. And so when it got to this part in “Winter Wonderland”:
In the meadow we can build a snowman,
Then pretend that he is Parson Brown
He’ll say: Are you married?
We’ll say: No man,
But you can do the job
When you’re in town
All throughout my entire childhood, tweenhood, teenhood, and early adulthood, I thought these horny ladies were building a snowman named Parson Brown, who must’ve been some kind of local hunk everyone had the hots for, and they were pretending to have sex with him in a meadow. I thought “do the job” was a sex thing and it was okay because none of them were married, which was very decent of Local Hunk Parson Brown in Snowman Form to ask them. Last year Sarah told me what a parson was and explained the real meaning of the lyrics, but it’s still really hard for me to buy. Like, really? REALLY? THESE WOMEN AREN’T HAVING SEX WITH A REAL DOLL SNOWMAN THEY MADE IN A FIELD BECAUSE THEY’RE UNWED AND TURNED ON AND IT WAS LIKE THE 1930S? I don’t know, my version makes more sense and has more intrigue.
This is, in fact, the only Christmas story anyone will ever need.
(via drinkmasturbatecrismus)Source: 021013