Posts Tagged: text




he’ll say “are you married?” we’ll say “wow those are pretty invasive questions for a snowman”

I feel this is the perfect segue for me to tell this story. For the first 22 years of my life (I am 24 at this time), I didn’t know what a parson was. I thought “Parson Brown” was just a man’s name. And so when it got to this part in “Winter Wonderland”:

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
Then pretend that he is Parson Brown
He’ll say: Are you married?
We’ll say: No man,
But you can do the job
When you’re in town

All throughout my entire childhood, tweenhood, teenhood, and early adulthood, I thought these horny ladies were building a snowman named Parson Brown, who must’ve been some kind of local hunk everyone had the hots for, and they were pretending to have sex with him in a meadow. I thought “do the job” was a sex thing and it was okay because none of them were married, which was very decent of Local Hunk Parson Brown in Snowman Form to ask them. Last year Sarah told me what a parson was and explained the real meaning of the lyrics, but it’s still really hard for me to buy. Like, really? REALLY? THESE WOMEN AREN’T HAVING SEX WITH A REAL DOLL SNOWMAN THEY MADE IN A FIELD BECAUSE THEY’RE UNWED AND TURNED ON AND IT WAS LIKE THE 1930S? I don’t know, my version makes more sense and has more intrigue. 

This is, in fact, the only Christmas story anyone will ever need.

(via assassinregrets)

Source: 021013

"The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.
Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.
But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that’d still be keeping his feet dry in ten years’ time, while a poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.
This was the Captain Samuel Vimes “Boots” theory of socioeconomic unfairness."


Terry Pratchett, Men At Arms (via 3parts)

I use this explanation constantly when talking about social stratification and wealth. If I ever teach, I’ll probably use it in my classes too.

Source: gaddings

"‘No one would be that stu-‘
Susan stopped. Of course someone would be that stupid. Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying ‘End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH’, the paint wouldn’t even have time to dry."

- Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time (via 3parts)
Source: gaddings